Sometime Around Midnight Still

What in the world is going on?

I say we start the apocalypse... its due sometime soon anyways...

THIS WORLD IS FREAKING CRAZY.

Today I was driving back from school [YES. SCHOOL. I had a practice AP test this morning for English.] and I was speeding on through the freeway and streets--I just couldn't stand any one song on the radio. Like the song selections were just pissing me off. They were all just so dumb and too repetitive and I was...iono. Hoping for something worth listening to. And then. At the intersection right before my development. I am stopped at a red light. Still pissed off. Still waiting. Still impatient to get home. And it started. I haven't heard iit in such a long time. SOMETIME AROUND MIDNIGHT. by airborne toxic event. I swear to GOD I don't think there is another song in this whole world that really...just gets me. Like this song makes me stop whatever I am doing--no matter what. So I drove extremely slow into my development, parked on the side of my house, and just leaned over to the passenger seat. And I laid there until the song finished. All the while my mind was buzzing with thoughts. I wanted to cry, and smile and my stomach was in knots. And like even over the summer when I would play it over and over and over and this guy and I would text back and forth when we heard it on the radio thinking we were meant to be, and when the first guy I shared this song with looked it up on the spot and listened to it in its entirety and agreed, and when this other guy randomly texted me on a tuesday afternoon when he heard it--because he thought of me every-time he heard it and playe dit on his Ipod, and when I talked to this guy a couple of months ago and when he asked me to list my favorite songs and he played it for me the very next day when he called me and all these other times and other occasions--the song just hasn't lost it's original feeling. Like last year when I heard it for the first time I bet I felt the exact same way. All these connections and memories I have with it--It hasn't altered anything I feel when I hear it. 

And then I thought about how crazy it was for this one simple song that some band made up out of the blue and how I heard one day in the middle of my room as I laid in my bed thinking and trying to go to sleep even though I can sleep through a rainstorm, but for some reason I couldn't that night and then hearing it tied me into knots and made me want to endure every emotion I have ever felt in my tiny 16 years of life. And how crazy it was for this one song with its melodies and riffs and vocals and beat to just capture me. And I don't know. For a second as I laid in my car I felt vulnerable and I didn't care. I could have watched the entire earth go up in flames and burn and not have moved a single bit. I could have relived all my favorite days and not have smiled through it all. I could have been at my knees and not shed a single tear, or piece of my dignity. I was at peace. I was in hell. I was everywhere at once.  And as it ended I didn't want it to. I wanted it on a loop. But I knew that part of the beauty was that randomness when it just...plays. So. I am not sure of the real purpose of this post...but. I just thought it was curious how this song still, through it all, and overall the songs I have ever heard-still has a strong grasp on my heart.